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Saturday, June 03, 2006

Anniversary

As you may or may not know this week is this blog’s approximate anniversary. So in honor of this special occasion I have decided to type a special piece near and dear to all of our hearts… music I used to like that I now realize is so bad it makes me want to vomit. Before I start there are a few things I would like to say. First us being the Pretentious Music Society (until we change the name) it is our duty to make fun of crappy music even if we used to like it. Secondly I would like you all to remember that I probably am the most pretentious one of us all. Thirdly and most importantly most of you either liked this crap when it first came out or in the case of Michael (Bryan’s brother) you still worship some of these bands. Ok so here is the list going form least crap to worst crap.

5. Pavement

4. The Pixies

3. Metallica

2. Motley Crue

1. System of a Down

Clearly that was a joke. I mean it should clearly read like this…

5. Metallica

4. Motley Crue

3. The Misfits

2. Gogol Bordello (Worst Live Band Ever)

1. System of a Down

Again a joke, but the firs list is in order of how much I like the bands. OK so here is the real list with reasons why I liked the band and more importantly why they suck.

5.

The reason Green day is only at number five on this list is because when I hear songs from this album (Dookie) I don't want to vomit. I can't remember the first time I heard Green day but I believe that I was around 5 years old. I remember once in Kindergarten one of the songs off this album (I believe it was Welcome to Paradise) was stuck in my head. Looking back I think the only reason I really began to like Green day was because of the amount I heard there songs. Many people our age will admit to still being a bit infatuated with this album but I can't really see why. The album is all melodies and as far as they go they aren't very unique or complicated. This album sounds identical to every other pop- punk album ever put out. It has the same power chords, the same lyrics about masturbation, and the same whiny attitude. The album does have one thing going for it, the cover art looks sort of cool.

4.

The funny thing about Slipknot is that I don’t even know why I liked them. I believe at the time I heard the song Wait and Bleed on the radio, and I liked it so much I bought the CD. Wait no, now it’s coming back to me. After I saw the movie Scream 3 I liked it so much that I bought the CD. The second track on the CD was Wait and Bleed; I liked the song so much that I went out and bought the album. If I recall my favorite song other than Wait and Bleed was (Sic). Any way that warm feeling in my stomach I used to get listening to them has now turned to a more vomit inducing feeling. Another funny thing about Slipknot is that there still are people in our school that like them. I’m not going to name names but a certain 9th grader once said Slipknot was better than Pantera.

3.

Blink-182 is just another generic pop- punk band. The first song by them I ever liked was dammit off there album Dude Ranch. I liked the song but I didn’t know any other songs by them so I didn’t buy the album. It was there next album Enema of the State that became rather successful. It gained heavy air play on the radio and I became familiar with many of the songs on it. My sister Rachel bought the album and I loved it. Most of the songs on the album are similar to one another. Again the same chords are played as in Green day’s Dookie. Lyrically the album is nothing special singing about typical pop-punk things such as immaturity and loneliness.

2.

Out all of the bands on this list I grew out of POD the fastest. Well I was sort of forced out of liking them because they wrote a song where the lyrics were “Abortion is murder/ there at no other truth”. But before they became a total Christian rock psycho band I liked them. That being said I had a good reason for liking them. It was weeks after Rage Against the Machine had informed the world that they were going on “hiatus” and I needed a fix. I remember talking to one of my friends about how they were a good substitution for Rage. Now I know the real word for what POD is to rage… a terrible rip off. The lead singer even wear’s dreadlocks like Zach De

La Rocha. POD could be one of the worst bands ever to sell any records.

1.

Finally comes a band so bad I am embarrassed to say I once liked them. This band makes POD look like Zeppelin drum roll please… yes you guessed it the band is Limp Bizkit. First off I would like to say this Michael F still has at least two of there CDs and I’m sure most of you did listen to them to. Anyway the year was 1999 it was the summer I was 9 and one band redefined the way the world will look at metal forever. Limp Bizkit and the band Korn both came out with ‘Metal’ records that had something new to them rap. This new hybrid genre was coined Nu- Metal. I first heard the ‘song’ Nookie on the radio and became entranced by the catchy hooks and because it was different. It seemed like there was something different about this song. I couldn’t put my finger on it then but I can now. The song broke new barriers in awful. I quickly begged my mom to buy it for me. We went to best buy and as soon as I got home I listened to the whole album over and over and over again. I was hooked, but it wasn’t the way I am hooked now to Pavement it was the way a junky is hooked on crack. The ‘album’ titled Significant other swept its way through the country and soon enough Limp Bizkit was headlining ‘Woodstock’ 99. A few years later Limp’s second album hit store selves and I pre ordered it. The first time I played it I remember wondering why it wasn’t as good as the last album. I know now that at that time the kidney stone by the name of Limp Bizkit had passed me. Limp Bizkit went on to record several more albums each worse than the next. They even managed to butcher a Who song.

So thats it, the worst music I used to liked. Hope you enjoyed and remember I know you liked it too so shut up.

4 Comments:

At 12:41 PM, Blogger my music is better than your's said...

i would like to add that i like most of those bands when i was younger than 10

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger sfab14 said...

"...a certain 9th grader once said Slipknot was better than Pantera."
Who was that? i say we find him/her and reform their music taste.

 
At 12:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

stahs

 
At 10:59 PM, Blogger Eebsta said...

By the way, I'm proud to say that I was too dumb at the time to like Limp Bizkit. I had no music taste, by which I mean my library had about 30 songs in it. I'm not kidding. Zero Zeppelin, zero pixies, zero clash, even zero chili peppers. And thank god that I also had none of the bad bands like, well, anything that David mentioned. No Green Day, no Limp Bizkit, no Weezer. Well, I do sort of still like Weezer. As far as bad bands go they're tolerable.

Oh, and Ha Ha! David listened to Limp Bizkit!

 

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